I got rejected from grad school
a story of persistence and the importance of never giving up
I remember the silence before I opened it. Spring 2010. Across the country, emails were deciding futures. I stared at the subject line longer than I’d like to admit, my cursor hovering as if waiting could change the outcome. When I finally clicked, the world didn’t move, but something inside me did. 16 years later, I can still feel the shock ripple through my body as the first sentence came into focus. In that moment, a few lines of text held the weight of everything I thought my life would become…
School 1: we regret to inform you…
School 2: we regret to inform you…
School 3: at this time, the class of 2010 is full, but we have placed you on our waiting list if any candidates drop out (wait-list position: #13)
School 4: same as #3 (wait-list position: #36)
For context, getting accepted from these wait-list positions was very unlikely. In fact, based on my research of previous years, very few people got in who were lower than #2-3 on these lists. These wait-list emails were essentially rejection letters.
Feelings of shame, failure, disappointment, shock, and disbelief swept over me like a tidal wave. This was the first significant failure I experienced in my academic career. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, let alone tell my parents the bad news. That would only make it worse.
So, I didn’t.
I waited a few days to let my emotions cool, saying I hadn’t received any emails yet.
“There must have been a delay or error in the system,” I told them.
A million thoughts raced through my head. I didn’t have a backup plan. I didn’t have a plan B. I was so certain I would get in and that I would succeed, because that’s what always happened in the past. I felt empty inside. Hollow.
After a few days, I summoned the courage to tell my parents, who were sympathetic and offered words of encouragement like all good parents do, “there’s always next year, you can always try again.”
I did not accept this fate.
I was not subscribing to next time or next year.
So, I decided to keep the faith that I would move up the wait-list and get a late acceptance.
The summer raced by. No updates. No news. No “you’ve been accepted” emails.
It was now mid-July and school was set to begin in September.
No updates.
I decided to take matters into my own hands and reach out to the schools I was wait-listed on.
And to my surprise, some good news! I had miraculously moved up on both wait-lists.
School 3 I was now #1 .
School 4 I was now #5.
Huge progress… so it seemed…
It was now August. One month from the start of fall semester.
No acceptance emails.
I was starting to panic.
I reached out again to both schools:
School 3 I was still #1 .
School 4 I was now also #1.
Excruciating. Was I actually going to be that close and still not get in?
I decided to take it up a notch. I was going to drive to BOTH schools and plead my case to the Dean, in person. I would wait all day if I had to. I told myself that I would leave it all on the table. No regrets. No what-ifs. No doubt in my mind that I didn’t try to do all I could to make my dream a reality.
I arrived at the Dean’s office of School 3 at 8:00 am the following day.
His receptionist said he was very busy and would likely not have time to see me today, if at all, and it was probably best for me to just go home.
I scanned the room and noticed two doors. One was his office, the other was the bathroom.
Tongue-in-cheek I asked his receptionist if he had his own private bathroom in his office. She quickly remarked, “he does not.” So I said, “I’ll wait then, he has to use the bathroom at some point, right?”
9:00 am…10:00 am…11:00 am…nothing.
Finally, shorter before noon, the Dean emerged. I stood up, introduced myself, and gave the best elevator speech I could. He invited me into his office and told me I had 5 minutes to plead my case.
At the end of my monologue, he firmly said, “you are not coming to this school, try again next year,” and ushered me to the front door. I thanked him for his time and walked back to my car, tail between my legs.
Just like that, I was down to my last chance.
The next day I drove to School 4.
The Dean was not on campus, so I spoke with the Head of Admissions. She was lovely.
She heard me out and told me she admired my passion and that she would keep me in mind.
Two weeks passed by.
It was now the middle of August. Two weeks until the start of the fall semester.
What happened next is a moment I will never forget.
I was sitting in my backyard, drinking a beer at 10:00 am. Feeling depressed. Accepting that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.
Then, like magic, my phone pinged. New email from School 4.
I didn’t get past the first line before I burst out in tears of joy:
“Welcome to the University of Toronto.”
I could have given up after the first round of emails. I didn’t.
I could have given up after the second round of emails. I didn’t.
I could have given up after School 3 rejected me, again. I didn’t.
I could not have taken that drive to the University of Toronto. BUT I DID.
A few months into the program, one of my instructors asked to talk to me after class.
She said, “Oh, so you’re the one who kept emailing us all summer?”
I replied, “Yes, that’s me.”
She said, “Had you not come here to plead your case, we would have moved on without you, I just want you to know that.”
Once again, I couldn’t hold back tears, I hugged her, and said “thank you for believing in me.”
The rest is history.
If you really want something in life, go after it with everything you have. Don’t ever give up. Keep going!
With love,
Scott
🔁 RESTACK if this resonated with you or if you feel someone on your feed needs this today.
I almost went to Medical School, and once my daughter was born, I backed out. The labs were too much with my hormone brain, her dad was a very busy engineer (gone most of the time) and now looking back, I see everything worked out as it should... but I do think about it almost every day, to this day, and that was 22 years ago (almost.) I can feel the win through others and, maybe one day go into a more new earth healing practice. You are showing great character skills- tenacity with the ability to track your goals into reality=Inspiring hope for others.✨️💪🩵
Wow, what a story! Perseverance always pays off. 👌